Throw out your pearl studs. Toss away your tiny cross pendant. Take your rose gold bangle straight to goodwill. I’ve got two words for you, friend: Contemporary Jewelry.
What is contemporary jewelry, you may very well ask? It is the answer to all your prayers: it’s art that you can show off without the hassle of letting people into your house. It’s jewelry that transforms you into your most beautiful, interesting, cultured, unique self. Nobody else you know has it; you are the coolest person in the room, on the street, or at the grocery store. “I like your pin”, the checkout lady will say, to which you will respond: “Thank you, it’s actually a brooch. It was handmade by an artist.”
That’s brooch as in B-R-O-O-C-H, rhymes with poach, not pooch. Who wears brooches anymore, you may very well ask? People who are tired of wearing tiny, barely-there enamel pins. People who enjoy those little plastic/metal/paper admissions tags they get at museums, but crave something more. People who aren’t afraid to wear their personality like a badge of honor on their chest. People like you.
So where to begin, you may very well ask? Not with a pair of earrings—no, they’re too small, too safe, and too cheap. You need something big, bold and beautiful. Something that will make you special and them jealous. Something that will get you the attention you deserve. Something that will make you deserving of attention in the first place.
Allow me to introduce The Line™, Hannah Oatman™’s range of contemporary jewelry products, all of which are completely handmade by machines and also by her hands. This jewelry is sparkly, glamourous, interesting, and fun—just like you! It is affordable, wearable unpretentious, and most importantly, it could be yours! There is enough jewelry to go around—but only while supplies last. And here’s the best part: you have three series to choose from.
Collect Me!™ is a limited edition of 50 brooches which come in multiple value tiers, but as they increase in value, they also increase in scarcity. Each brooch comes unassembled with instructions in a blind box, so you don’t know which brooch you will get until after you buy it. There are nine possible styles—which one will be yours? You might get one of the ten acrylic, cast brass Dreamboat™ brooches, but if you’re lucky, you’ll get the gold-plated, hand-fabricated, premium acrylic, one-of-a-kind Unicorn™ brooch! All brooches are sold at the same low price—buy a brooch, try your luck, and start your collection!
Art Over Time
Art Over Time™ is a year-long subscription brooch. The first month, you will receive a brooch base and a set of 5 default charms. After that, the fun begins: each month, you will receive a mystery pack of 5 themed charms. Wear the themed charms together, or mix and match with charms from previous months. Choose from 7,624,512 possible combinations! Customize your brooch to match your mood, outfit, or destination! These brooches come in a very limited edition, so act quickly—reserve your Art Over Time™ brooch today! Coming soon to your mailbox!
Build Your Own!
Coming soon to an internet near you, Build Your Own!™ is the world’s first Exquisite Corpse Brooch™! Assemble your own unique collection of Endcaps™ and Personality Pieces™ in the colors, patterns, and styles that define you, and then wear them for the world to see! These magnetic brooches are so easy to put together and take apart—just snap together and go! Want to change it up? Buy a new Personality Piece™! Want to make room for more Personality Pieces™? Buy a Silver Edition™ or Gold Edition™ upgrade kit to make your brooch bigger and better! You’re not like everyone else, so why buy a brooch like anyone else’s? Endcaps™, Personality Pieces™, and upgrade kits are all sold separately.